The Walmart Epidemic
by The-Strongest-Will-Survive
Summary: The story of how some of our favorite children under the bat signal went and got themselves banned from Wal-mart. Poor Tim can never quite get a break, can he?


"Tt. Why are we even here?" Bruce's demon spawn spat out as he kicked a tacky rubber dog toy that had fallen off of it's shelf further down the 'sterile'- and he used the word lightly- aisle.

Tim's hands fisted around the end of his red polo shirt in annoyance as his brow furrowed even deeper than previous_."_I've already told you," he exhaled a frustrated breath, "the prices here are more reasonable." His voice was strained as he tried to refrain from yelling, to prevent causing a scene. It didn't work too well considering a little girl picking out a dress across the store stared intently at them through her nearly translucent eyelashes and her young mother was doing a _pitiful_ job at making her side glances look anything close to discreet.

"Yes, I've already come to terms with the fact that you're cheap,' Damian smirked just a tad before resuming to speak with his inherited scowl that may have just been a _tad_ darker than per usual, 'but why are we here?" Damian gestured to the rest of the batboys, Dick and Jason, that had just recently stopped their own petty hushed argument to listen to the two youngest bump heads; all the while Stephanie and one of the more attractive Wal-mart employees flirted and giggled as far away from them as possible that they couldn't be heard _and_ her brothers could still see her. She didn't want them running down the aisles screaming for her to come out of her 'hiding place'...

**Again.**

"Because we're a family, and families spend time with each other. And if that family has to spend time at Wal-mart because a certain little boy," Dick stiffly pointed accusingly at Tim before continuing with a grumble," likes to buy almost worthless items at low prices, then so be it. Why?" he asked rhetorically before he mercilessly squeezed Damian's cheeks between his calloused hands, "Because families this** precious **love each other!" he answered before grinning like a presidential candidate after their speech whilst they await their applause.

Damian swiftly swatted Dick's hands away from his face.

"Don't touch me Grayson!"

_"And both of you don't yell!"_ Tim demanded in a loud whisper that resembled a scream.

While the three argued in quieted tones (Most with words around how a _certain someone never even __**asked**__ for them to come along _and some else _had just wanted to bring the family closer _and_ how two someones could just __**kiss someone else's posterior**_- though that wasn't exactly the word he had used) - miserably failing at keeping their remarks quiet enough so that the other shoppers couldn't hear.

Jason, looking for trouble, plucked an orange rubber dog toy from the rusty shelf in front of him and squeezed it; being rewarded with a loud, high-pitched squeak that made the boys look over at him- suddenly remembering that he had been forced to come along too. Jay just raised an eyebrow.

"Think Titus would like this? It's a much more pleasant squeak than the bullshit noise that come out of your mouths."

That comment caused a series of much louder insults, death threats, and even a few unpleasant comments about the other's mother. The man Stephanie had been batting eyes with was suddenly in front of them with an anger-induced tremor and beet red face as he examined the few people looking their way to hear the ruckus that was being dished out, then slapping their hands over their child's ears and hurrying them away as they hear the more rebellious looking adult in the leather jacket, Jason, dish out some not-so-child-friendly words.

"Does there seem to be a problem here?" he breathed out in a failed attempt of keeping the 'happy go-lucky Wal-Mart worker' routine. He just smiled a shaky smile and pretended his voice hadn't cracked and that his face wasn't a few more harsh comments away from turning purple.

"Yes there is," the youngest and most adorable of the boys spoke calmly. The worker he knelt down on one knee to have better eye contact. He thought it was cute how the little boy was going to try to resolve the actions of, what looked like, his relatives. Damian looked down at his name-tag "Scott."

He nodded with a smile to show that that_ was _in fact his name, and Damian continued as the others eyes bulged when they found out what was going to happen next.

"I believe this store is-"

...and the words that came out of the little ten-year-old boy's mouth made Scott's jaw drop to the floor. Even he, at twenty-one years of age, had the decency to not utter such atrocious profanities in his life. Poor Scott didn't even know the meaning of some of the things the little tyke threw down on the table.

When he stood himself up straight again to try to compose himself and think of a legitimate reply to that, leather-jacket-man was lighting a cigarette, which didn't help the bat-family's case. Scott cleared his throat and said with a stuttering breath; still trying to remain calm and friendly for the few adults still eavesdropping, "We are proud to be a smoke-free facility here at Wal-mart from... since the day we first opened in 1962."

The man kept looking at him in defiance as he put the cigarette in his mouth; challenging him. Scott, however, took this as Jason misunderstanding him.

"There is no smoking permitted; no exceptions," he cleared up with the large fake smile once again present on his face.

Jason took the cigarette out of his mouth, blew a large puff of grey smoke in his face, and then placed it back in his mouth with a crooked smile.

They soon found themselves in the Wal-mart parking lot, and Tim was fuming.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GOT ME _BANNED FROM WAL-MART!_" Tim yelled in frustration. His-somewhat- siblings just had to ruin everything for him. Even something as trivial as a cheap store like Wal-mart.

"How were we suppose to know he was manager?" Dick asked innocently; putting his palms up in defense, releasing his vice grip on Stephanie's arm- having grabbed it as he hauled her with them as the were being so rudely thrown out.

"It was on his name-tag!" Tim screeched as he pulled fistfuls of his raven black hair. After that statement they all turned to Steph and Damian, whom had both **read his name-tag.**

"Did I forget to tell you?" Damian asked with a devilish grin.

"I wasn't getting involved." Steph said as she threw her arms in the air.

Considering there was nothing more they could do there, they all just trudged to their car, which thankfully wasn't stolen by some idiot roaming around the streets of Gotham. Stephanie couldn't help saying directly to Tim as she slipped into the backseat,

"I wasn't banned."


End file.
